Breaking Boxes by A. M. Jenkins

Author:A. M. Jenkins [Jenkins, A. M.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Social Issues, Brothers, Family, Juvenile Fiction, Drugs; Alcohol; Substance Abuse, General, Gay teenagers, Homosexuality, Siblings, Fiction, Friendship, School & Education, Adolescence
ISBN: 9780440227175
Publisher: Dell
Published: 2000-02-08T05:42:52+00:00

CHAPTER 10

"So, did you do her?" Brandon asks after I finally find him waiting by the front door. I figure the booze must be about gone because the party seems to have lost its focus.

"Yeah," I say. We start walking toward the car. There's not near as many cars as there were.

"Shit. It figures. I came away with nothing. Nothing!"

I shrug. How long have I been gone?

"And I wouldn't tell Cottington if I were you. He's been trying since school started."

"Don't worry," I tell him.

"So, how was it?"

"Fine," I say. To tell the truth, I don't want to talk about it. I mean, it was great and all, but I feel like I'm doing something wrong when it's over and I'm pulling up my pants and she's trying to get everything back on and it's kind of embarrassing. It's like there's something I'm supposed to say, but I don't know what it is. I guess in old movies you lie there and smoke a cigarette or something. But this isn't the movies.

The whole thing reminds me of the only other girl I ever did it with, Megan Dunlop. That was over the summer, and I lost count how many times we did it. They were all fine, more than fine, in fact they were all fantastic, but this one time she cries when we're finished and says how she loves me. Then she asks how I feel about her.

The thing is, there's nothing to say. I don't feel anything about her. I mean, she's nice and all, and I appreciate her, but I know I don't love her. And she's sitting there expecting me to say something, and I can't even tell her I like her. Because I'm not sure I do. And I can't say "I don't dislike you," because that would be pretty rude after I just, you know.

She called me a few times after that, but I never called her back. I should have, I know. I should have lied, too, and told her whatever she wanted to hear. But I couldn't.

Maybe that's what Katie wanted to hear—that I loved her. Maybe that's what you're supposed to say when you're finished. Maybe that's what keeps it from being embarrassing. But I just can't do it.

"Fine? Is that all?"

"What do you want, a report?" I say. "Maybe I should've had her fill out a comment card."

Brandon starts laughing. " 'The service I received was—A, excellent.' "

I can't help it. I smile.

" 'And the temperature,' " Brandon continues, " 'was—A, hot. They could have heard me moaning in China.' "

It feels good to put a little distance between me and the evening. It feels good to be putting distance between me and the lake house. We're coming up to Brandon's car, shining dull silver in the moonlight.

"So, did she?" Brandon asks, digging in his pocket for his keys.

"Did she what?"

"Moan."

"Shit, I don't know." Although I do.

"My guess is yes. She looks like a moaner." He pulls out the keys, and steps in front of the car.

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